As I looked at my desk this morning, with its papers spread out all over (reminding me of tasks left unfinished or yet to do), I got that icky feeling in the pit of my stomach. You see, I’m a pretty organized and tidy person. I kind of subscribe to the “everything in its place” philosophy.
So when my desk gets “out of control”, at least for me, it drains my energy. Instead of looking at my daily Priority Planner (we talked about that last week, so check out the blog here if you missed it: https://www.resultspartner.com/where-did-the-day-go/) and getting excited and energized about what I’m going to create today, I get a bit overwhelmed, and, dare I say it, cranky!
What I know is that this “cranky” energy doesn’t serve me! Especially when what is creating the angst is so easily fixed. I call these “tolerations”.
Tolerations are….
- Things that get in your way
- Things that keep you from growing
- Things that cause you grief
- Things that waste your time or energy
Think about the last time you cleaned out your closet or your junk drawer. How did it make you feel? Did it inspire you to clean out another closet, or maybe reorganize your wardrobe so you knew what you needed to buy when you went shopping, versus just picking up what was on sale?
It gives you momentum, right?
Better yet, did you notice that the space you created brought something new into your life? I had a friend who once cleaned out her closet, purging years of un-worn and un-liked clothing, only to have some give her a practically new wardrobe of designer clothes when she lost a bunch of weight. How’s that for creating space to fill it with something better!
On the business front, I remember when I was just starting my done-for-you business services and a current client had referred me to a potential new client. From the moment of the first phone call with the business owner, every cell in my body was screaming that this wasn’t a good fit. The potential client was hyper-energy, unorganized, unfocused….all things that drive me nuts.
But because she was a referral from a top client, I felt I “had” to take her on.
It lasted two weeks.
Our working styles and values were so different, that within days every time I saw her number come up on my phone or her name on an email, I cringed.
So I fired her.
I knew that it was the right thing to do, for both me and her. I wasn’t willing to tolerate working with a client that didn’t bring me joy.
In fact, not a week later, a client three times the size offered me a contract. I still work with that client today! I opened up the space for the right client to come to me. If I wouldn’t have fired the client that didn’t fit…who knows?
It’s Time To Stop Tolerating!!!
We are taught not to complain, not to rock the boat, to leave well enough alone, and all those other cliches. But the fact is, none of that serves us. We have the power to choose what we will tolerate, and to shift, change, or fix the things we are ready to let go of. And when we do this, we lighten up, we gain self confidence, and we gain momentum towards our goals, whatever they are.
And here’s the thing…tolerations can range from pretty small (my messy desk or the car needing washed) to very big in our life (relationships that aren’t serving us, not having the income you want in your business).
It really doesn’t matter. The most important step is to recognize that you are tolerating it. Once you do, the universe has a way of aligning to support you in figuring out how to shift it!
Are you ready?
Here is a simple 5 step process to creating a toleration free zone. It’s an easy way to identify and bust through what you are tolerating…
5 Steps to a Toleration Free Zone
- Understand that putting up with things is good for no one
- Make a list of 10 things you are tolerating or are holding you back.
- Make the requests/take the actions to eliminate these from your life.
- Stop complaining about things other people are “doing”! Instead, make a strong request to tell them what you need.
- Once you eliminate these 10 tolerations, repeat steps 1- 4!
A note about complaining (or being a victim to your circumstances). We are human, and it’s easy to go there. The first step is to recognize it when it’s happening and make the choice to shift it.
So find a quiet spot, write down those first 10 tolerations, and see how many really can be eliminated from your list TODAY! You’ll be amazed at how many of the others just might take care of themselves too!
Now, back to organizing my desk…
